-
Wow, has it really been over two months since I last posted? It isn’t a bad thing, I guess, as these weeks have flown by and included a road-trip family vacation down south, various summer church activities, and the like (i.e. I don’t really remember much of what fills my days).
Something I have been mulling over these days is how to live out of a correct understanding of my own limits. It’s possible that most other people already know how to do this, but a recurring pattern in my life is that I often push past the point where those who know me well begin to notice I’m fraying a bit at the edges. The reasons I am prone to this are complicated– I’m thinking having to do with personality, culture (Chinese? American? Mix?), modeling, sometimes guilt and other times pride– and it’s tough because I am not as self-aware as I ought to be about this given the way it affects me and those around me. Whatever the reasons, I am increasingly convinced that the understanding, implications, and applications of understanding that we are finite creatures is an important topic to consider in ministry in particular and life in general.
One Biblical Foundation to Consider: God Alone Has No limits
I think one reason that it’s been hard for me to think about the having a healthy understanding of work, limits, and rest is that so much of Scripture seems to talk about how God is able to supersede our limitations and do more than what we’d expect. God often calls us to do hard things and many people in the Bible were called to operate out of their comfort zones. Because of this, I’ve often found myself in Christian circles where saying that something is beyond one’s capacity can be seen as a symptom of a lack of faith in the power of God or, worse, a self-focused rejection of God’s call for us to deny ourselves.
While it is true that God calls us to deny ourselves daily and not live a life driven by comfort and our own human assessments of our capacities, I believe that understanding our own limitations (physically, emotionally, capability, capacity, giftedness) is not antithetical to faith, but a sign of faith in the word and character of God.
We see in the Psalms again and again the contrast the psalmists make between God who is unlimited vs. us, people, as created creatures. Rather than being cause for condemnation, it is fodder for worship. God alone is the one who does not slumber nor sleep and thus though we are weak and needy, he is our help! (Psalm 121) The work of our hands only matters if God establishes it, and rather than live in anxious toil because of this limitation, we rest because God grants sleep to those he loves! (Psalm 127) God cares for us and remembers that we are dust. This isn’t a derogatory statement, but one of love and gentleness– he remembers we are dust and he knows our frame (how we’re made) and has fatherly compassion on us. (Psalm 103) (Christopher Ash talks about these passages here: How to Maintain Pastoral Zeal While Avoiding Pastoral Burnout.)
A year or so ago as I wrestled with how to deal with brokenness and the fallout of people’s sin in ministry and life in general, reading through Zachary Eswine’s book Sensing Jesus was one of the best things I could do. The premise of his book is the way that we often operate when trying to serve God and others actually shows our refusal to recognize that we are not God. Rather, we act as if we are omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing) and omnipresent (everywhere at the same time) in the big and small things we do. His book is amazing at getting to the heart of much of our striving and is written beautifully too. I highly recommend it!
Why This Matters
These are a few reasons why I am convinced that understanding and responding accordingly to my own creaturely limits is helpful for me, honoring to God, and best for loving others:
1. Knowing my limits helps me better serve those around me.
A few months ago, when talking to Jeff about how I could grow in serving our family, he encouraged me by saying something like, “Well, I think you’re getting to know better when you’re reaching your limits and how to ask for help.” It surprised me that he said that, but I am learning to see this now as an issue of stewardship for the sake of serving others.
It’s easier to talk about stewardship with physical things (e.g. money) because we all see clearly that we have a limited supply of it. Though there are many good causes we can give to and people we can serve, we give of our money towards specific circumstances we believe we are called to. I can act like there is no limit to how much money I have, but I’d eventually have to face the reality of an empty bank account.
It’s tougher with intangibles– energy, giftedness, emotional capacity– but still real nonetheless. There’s no bank statement sent out, but that low-balance text alert does come in the form of depression, sickness, burnout, frustration, anger, deep discouragement, etc. That not only affects me, but those around me who I am called to serve and can no longer serve well. When I recognize my limits, I am able to prioritize a resource that is limited. Though I may want to, I can’t give my best to everyone. That means I need to set priorities with godly wisdom and with the help of those around me for the sake of those that I am called to.
I remember an older missionary giving advice during a talk at a college conference. One thing that stuck out to me was “your body is your horse, take care of it because you can only push it so far.” It stuck out to me because it seemed strange that he would choose to share something so seemingly non-spiritual, at least that’s how it seemed to me at the time. Now I realize the wisdom in that. First of all, God made our bodies and we are called to honor him with them. And secondly, we can’t push them beyond what they ought to handle and still continue to serve others as we are called to.
2. Knowing my limits keeps me from temptation.
Do you ever get to the point where you know you’re thinking crazy and that if you open your mouth, you’re going to say things that you shouldn’t say and wouldn’t say if you were clear headed? A few weeks ago, I had one of those thank-you-Jesus-for-keeping-me-from-saying-what-I-was-thinking-yesterday moments. That was in large part due to my realizing at the time that I was, in fact, thinking crazy because I was physically exhausted and that any “discussion” I started would not be fruitful and would find me saying things that are, in fact, untrue. And it was true that in the morning after a good rest, I was feeling better and relieved, was able to pray “thank you SO MUCH for keeping my mouth shut!”
Being physically, spiritually, or emotionally exhausted is not an excuse for sin. If I sin when I’m tired, I still need to repent and ask for forgiveness from those around me. But, we are embodied souls and the interplay between our souls, minds, and bodies, though mysterious, is real.
This quote in Kevin Deyoung’s Crazy Busy (quoting D.A. Carson) is great:
If you are among those who become nasty, cynical, or even full of doubt when you are missing your sleep, you are morally obligated to try to get the sleep you need. We are whole, complicated beings: our physical existence is tied up to our spiritual well-being, to our mental outlook, to our relationship with others, including our relationship with God. Sometimes the godliest thing you do in the universe is get a good night’s sleep– not pray all night, but sleep. I’m certainly not denying that there may be a place for praying all night; I’m merely insisting that in the normal course of things, spiritual discipline obligates you get the sleep your body needs. (97)
A few months ago, I was battling feeling an overwhelming amount of annoyance at people which I normally wouldn’t feel. I didn’t want to serve people or in ministry and I kept finding things people did annoying. I was sharing this to ask for prayer and help, and it took three different people at different times suggesting that maybe I needed rest and that I was just really tired to realize that yes, I needed rest and was just really tired.
3. It brings me to humble dependence on other people and deeper appreciation for God’s church.
One summer on missions in Taiwan, I was supposed to lead a Bible study and I felt like I just could not do it. I couldn’t take it on physically–I was exhausted– and I felt so guilty. This ended up being one of the biggest testimonies of God’s work that trip, that because I was unable to lead the study, my teaching assistant, another young man from the local church did so– with better language skills than me (of course), and with the possibility of continuing the relationships long after the team left.
As Christians, we are all part of a body and we can’t say to each other “I don’t need you.” Though we would never say “I don’t need you!” to another person in the church (that’s messed up!), we often do not live in such a way to affirm the opposite, that in fact, Biblically “I do need you.” One way I have seen the work of God through the body of Christ most clearly is when I, having reached the end of my own resources, experience God’s provision not through the increasing of what I can do, but through another who is able to do what I cannot.
4. Knowing my limits helps me to be merciful towards others in understanding they have their own God-given limits too.
I find that I get upset at others for not doing more when I am pushing past my own limit. (Public confession: This happens especially at home.) I compare my own tiredness to others’ and in my mind, they have a right to be tired if they’re doing more than I am (at which point I feel bad that I can’t handle more), but if they aren’t, then there’s no sympathy from me! The more I am pushing myself past the breaking point, the more I expect others to be pushing themselves too. But when I am being faithful to work within my God-given limits, recognizing that God as my Father is compassionate toward me, I can empathize, sympathize, and be understanding towards those who are having a hard time or need rest.
A pastor’s wife shared once at a workshop about how in any given harbor, there are boats of different sizes with different weight limits. If the water level rises beyond a certain point in any one boat, it means that the limit has been exceeded and if it’s floating much higher, than there is still more that can be put onboard. Likewise, we all are made differently with different capacities physically, emotionally, etc. If I can accept that and seek to honor God with that as a boat myself, it helps me to recognize that others also have their own weight limits that may differ from mine.
5. Knowing my limits leads me to deeper worship through the recognition of my own creaturely bounds vs. God who alone is God.
One distinction that has helped me in considering my limitations is recognizing the difference between being a sinner and being a creature (created). I used to think that saying no to an opportunity that could be God-given because of my own assessment of my limits was a lack of faith. It is true that my orienting question for serving others shouldn’t be “will this make me tired?” Serving and loving others means suffering, inconvenience, and tiredness oftentimes. But I believe there is an appropriate place for considering that I am a creature, created to be limited in energy, wisdom, power, and strength. Rather than being led to guilt (“What’s wrong with me?”) or apathy (“Oh well, if I can’t, I can’t”) because of this, I can be thrown into deeper dependence on God and awe at his being God (i.e his divinity).
I am bound by space and time. I can only pray for so many people or care about so many issues. I can only “take” so much on. And as I consider what I am unable to take up, the emotional burdens I can’t carry, the time commitments I can’t make, people I can’t help, causes I can’t participate in– I can come to God in praise and trust that he who has no limits is able to carry all that I am unable to.
How I’m Learning
What I’m not saying is that I’ve figured it all out or that this is the only factor to consider when taking on that extra responsibility or going out of my way to serve another person. I’m learning that I need wisdom, both from God through Scripture and through those who are good examples of this to me. I need to see people who give to God and others sacrificially when it’s hard and inconvenient, and yet have a Biblically sound and practical way to consider their own limitations. I also need those around me who know me well to either give me a kick in the rear (don’t be lazy!) or to let me know, “hey, I think it’s okay for you to say no and I think you need to rest.” I’m learning that there is a difference between a sustainable tiredness that is part in parcel of being a parent with young children and serving in the local church versus a sustained dread-filled exhaustion. The first is to be expected, and we rejoice that we are tired because of God’s blessings! The second is cause to consider whether or not I am living out of Biblical truth.
God’s grace comes in varied forms, and I am learning to consider that the grace I am praying for to sustain me with help through the day may not come in the form of my receiving superhuman strength and abilities (though if necessary, it may!), but the grace of being permitted to say “no, maybe in the future”, to sit down and rest for a few minutes in trust that God will enable me to finish a task later, to ask for help from a willing husband and grandmas (the girls’) and friends. I am learning to embrace the fact that I am in fact, dust– and this was in fact designed for the sake of the glory of him isn’t merely “super-human”, but God.
•••
Here are some resources that in the last year or two have been greatly helpful to me and shaped what I’ve shared:A great practical and engaging talk by a seasoned minister: How to Maintain Pastoral Zeal While Avoiding Pastoral Burnout (YouTube) Here’s the description:
How can burnout be a problem in ministry when Christ Himself encouraged His followers to give up everything for the sake of the Gospel? Christopher Ash explains that there is a vital difference between living sacrificially for Jesus and pursuing our calling in a way that leads to mental and physical exhaustion. When Christian leaders bear in mind that we are created by God from dust and that all of our endeavors are dependent on Him for success, we are reminded that Gospel ministry is a humbling privilege and enabled to rejoice that we are recipients of God’s grace in Christ Jesus.
Sensing Jesus: Life and Ministry As a Human Being by Zackary Eswine (Amazon, WTSbooks)
Crazy Busy by Kevin Deyoung (Amazon, WTSbooks)
Some Books recommended by Christopher Ash in talk above (I haven’t read these, but may soon!)
- Going the Distance: How to Stay Fit For a Lifetime of Ministry
Serving Without Sinking- How To Serve Christ And Save Your Joy- John Hindley
Dangerous Calling- Paul Tripp
Liberating Ministry From The Success Syndrome- R. Kent Hughes
Honorably Wounded: Stress Among Christian Workers- Marjory F. Foyle (esp. for cross cultural)
- Going the Distance: How to Stay Fit For a Lifetime of Ministry
-
This was Dad’s idea Because of this man…
I love to sing.
We can still locate dad in public places sometimes by following the sound of singing, especially in echo-y places.We have hours and hours of precious family videos at home.
Dad lived our family vacations through a viewfinder of a bulky camcorder for years. He’s probably in 5% of the videos but you can hear his voice in the background describing where we are and what we’re doing.I didn’t know how dorky I looked during the big glasses and braces stage of my life.
Don’t ask for a picture, but if you know me, you know what I’m talking about and if not, you can imagine it. I think the number one reason why I never struggled with self-image issues is because my dad constantly would say when I was growing up how pretty his daughters were–sometimes even randomly at the dinner table! Even though he bemoaned the day I would get married ever since I can remember and I would think it was silly, I knew that meant I was loved and cherished by him, and I knew what it meant to be beautiful in someone else’s eyes.I know what it means to live simply in order to be generous towards others.
I have admired this about my dad for a long time and as a single person it was something I was hoping for in a husband (and am thankful to have been given!) He is hesitant to spend much on himself, but was always saying to me “You like it? Go ahead, you can get it!” Many people, not the least of them myself, have been blessed by his quiet generosity and love.I have a remarkable example of humility in old(er) age & I know that my thoughts and perspective are valuable.
My dad has put up with so much of my thinking that I know it all and I know it better. He still kind of does. And yet he has always listened to what I had to say not just to correct me, but to actually listen. He has been willing to learn from his children and will even later on mention to others or in other conversations things that we’ve said. In some ways it puts me to shame for my own pride, but it shows me how I want to be willing to learn from my children when I am older, to listen, and to show them their thoughts are valued and loved.I understand what it means to have a heavenly Father who delights in me.
From making a phone call during a tough time in college and hearing him say, “it’s always nice to hear your voice!” to being shown off to his co-workers at his workplace to seeing how he smiles when his kids are home, I grew up having a taste what it means to be welcomed into the presence of God as his daughter. He’s saved all these drawings and cards we’ve made for him and treasured them because he treasures us. Nowadays, I’m not shown off so much since the granddaughters’ pictures and videos are taking my place — but I think I can overlook that.I know what it’s liked to be loved in spite of myself.
In some ways, dad had to put up with more from me because I didn’t fear him or his response because he was so patient with me. He’s seen some ugly parts of me. And yet, he has loved and sacrificed and given.I had a great example to look for when looking for my then future children’s daddy.
Many of the things I value in Jeff– his patience, humility, love, tenderness, gentleness– I had seen in my dad first. I knew what it was like to not feel like I need to be someone else and still be approved of and loved. And now, I am thankful that the girls get to know that in their daddy too!Thanks so much, daddy. I thank God for you! I love you!
And you, husband! The girls and I thank God for you too.
And to my father-in-law for raising, fervently praying for, and modeling godliness to the man of God I got to marry!
Happy Father’s Day!
-
But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
Psalm 103:17-18This is the crowning privilege that God gives to his faithful: though their lives are short and appear almost insignificant, they may still contribute to the future well-being of the people of God by their godly and prayerful parenting and grandparenting. (ESV Study Bible notes on Psalm 103:18)
I thought about writing this post a few weeks ago as I put my older daughter to sleep. As I prayed by her bed, I thought about how privileged she is to be growing up within a a Christian home. Every night before she sleeps, her daddy reads to her from her book of choice (more often than not Dr. Seuss) and then the Bible. Sometimes she “reads” on her own and we hear things like “God’s people”, “Jesus went back to the home” (from, we think, the story of Jesus appearing to the disciples after the resurrection?), and “Abraham and Sarah” as she flips through the pages of her children’s Bible. Our daughters are growing up with the community of believers at GCC and will not ever remember a time in life before going to church. I thought about my own life as a second-generation Christian on my dad’s side and the legacy I have on my mom’s side of a missionary great-grandfather. Christianity in Jeff’s family goes back even farther than mine. I was filled with gratitude for this blessing and then thought of my friends who have not been given this same grace as us, but instead have the grace of being called to God as the first Christians in their families.
In some ways, we are all first-generation Christians. None of us are children of God by virtue of being born into a Christian family, and all of us need to be given new life by the Spirit and grasp hold of his promises by faith. My daughters are not guaranteed standing before God because of us, and we pray often for them to come to know God and for him to grant them new life. Those of us who grew up going to church have a unique set of struggles as church kids, and even those struggles aren’t the same across the board as many who grew up in church-going families weren’t really growing up in joyful, thriving, Christian homes. The family I grew up in is far from perfect and I often share that one reason I am so sure that God is real is that I have seen the gospel work and transform our relationships. All this to say, we all need the gospel and we all need Jesus and to be walking with him as individuals. Still, enough of my friends have been, by God’s grace, called into his family from non-Christian backgrounds for me to know that they face a unique set of trials, discouragements, and burdens.
So…to these dear friends,
I have been thinking of and wanted to encourage those of you who may be discouraged or burdened standing in the place that God has called you in as the first, and maybe as of now, only Christians in your family. In many ways, I do not feel I am in the position to encourage you– I have not been in your place, bearing the same burdens you bear. But at the same time, I feel I am in a unique place to say something, because in faith I believe that there will be future generations in your family to come who are not unlike myself– receiving blessing because of the work of God in generations past. And since it doesn’t really make sense to say that I’m thanking you in advance on their behalf, I would rather say that it isn’t too far off to think that the thankfulness that I am expressing now for you will be of a similar kind as the gratitude they will have in future years for God’s work in your life.
I thank God for your testimony of courage in your life as he gave you strength to walk away from what you knew, sometimes in the face of great opposition, to take hold of the promise that those who come to him will find that what they have left behind pales in comparison to the greatness of knowing him. (Mark 10:29-31) Thank you for sharing your testimonies with me. Thank you for being real about how it’s hard, about how you may fail in your family, but how you continue to hope for him to work in your life and in theirs. I praise God for your faith and perseverance by which I am reminded that he indeed is mighty to save and strong to keep us walking with him.
I know that sometimes, it’s tough or you feel a sense of loss and sadness when you hang out with loving Christian families. It makes sense that you would feel like that, because we live in a broken world and families were created by God in order to display his love and worth. But please know that God didn’t just think of you and your family after everyone else’s. And please, please don’t think it’s because you were less worthy of the gospel– as all of us are equally unworthy and needy. He has had plans for your life since before you were born and had you in mind, in love, choosing you before the foundations of the world to be his own. (Eph. 1:3-6) Don’t forget the way he has shown grace to you and modeled his love to you even through those who did not know him and even before you heard the gospel (Acts 14:17) and know that you were not out of his sight in the years before you knew him. Though those times may have been dark, and he is able to redeem all things– he will not waste even the worst of times.
I am so thankful for your examples of humility in learning to walk in obedience to God and sharing with me how you are continually being shaped and challenged to be conformed to his image. We all need to be continually renewed and changed in our thinking to be more and more like Christ, even those of us who grew up in church. But I understand from your sharing that there is a unique difficulty in having been explicitly taught at home to value and do things that are in direct opposition to the things you now have come to love and value. Don’t lose heart as you work to break certain patterns of thinking that you grew up with before knowing Christ regarding education, family, marriage, children, life, etc. It is a testimony of his Spirit at work in you. You are not only growing in maturity and Christlikeness in a way that pleases the Lord, but will be a blessing for the generations to come. I remember in China, a girl telling me that she believed in God as a child, but once she spoke about it with her mom, was immediately told there was no God. She came to know Jesus in college but shared with me the struggle she has because even though she now believes that God created the world, she has to continually work to fight against the patterns of thought that were drilled into her for the first 18 or so years of her life. I thank God that though there were times of great doubt in my life, believing and knowing God’s presence never felt unnatural to me because of how my parents talked about him to me since I was a child. By his grace, your children will be testing the things you teach and model for them against the word of God as they mature in the faith. They will find things in your parenting inconsistent with the way that God is toward them since he is the only perfect Father and things in your life that require learning and repentance. But they will, because of your obedience to the Lord, find it less difficult than you may be finding it right now to unlearn and relearn and by his grace, as you continue to walk with him, you will be able to say with Paul, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things.” (Phil 4:9a ESV)
Also, don’t lose hope in what he is able to do in your family even now. I have had the privilege not only to see God’s saving work evident moving down the generations, but up one as I clearly remember hearing when my grandmother, and later, grandfather, started going to church. Even within my own family, I have seen God work his redemption in all our relationships and he is still in the process of doing that now. Remember that your task isn’t to be perfect or to be Jesus, but to live out your faith in a way that all may see your progress in the faith. (1 Tim. 4:15-16) He is the one who is perfect and he is the one who does the saving work. Please do not feel like you are being repetitive or burdensome when asking again for prayers for your family members. It is our privilege as your brothers and sisters to pray with you and bear your burdens as our own. Let us pray with you for your family as often as they are on your heart and let us pray for you as you live out the testimony of Christ before them.
A few years ago, when sharing the gospel in Asia, I often was asked whether or not my parents were Christians. When I said yes, the person would often say that it is much easier then for me to believe. At this point, I’d often tell them that my dad was in fact the first believer in his family and that every Christian family has had a first at some point. Someone had to be the first in their family to make that decision to step away from what they knew and take hold of the promises of eternal life and a relationship with God through Christ. Don’t lose heart, dear ones. God has called you to be that “first,” and what he has called you to, there will be grace for. God sees and knows, he has planned this, he has brought you to himself, and he will be with you until the end.
Privileged and thankful to be walking with you,
FaithP.S. This is printed out and framed in our bedroom; it may be an encouragement to you: 9 Reasons You Can Face Anything.
-
Looking over her future college campus…Kidding! (kind of) A week ago, our family went to visit our alma mater with the girls. It was good to see our friends the Colvins & Wens, catch up and see how God is leading them in their lives. Jeff flew a kite on campus with our daughter, and it was crazy thinking that not too long ago, we were among the stressed out students walking by us, thinking about upcoming final papers and exams on the last week of classes.
It’s May, which means that many students are transitioning out of their campus ministries to go back home or to a new city for work. Jeff told me the other day about being in college and having a college graduate visit. He told them that his life just consisted of going to work, coming home, and playing video games. His point in painting this bleak post-college life was to tell them to make the best of what they had now in college because they’ll never get it again. Unfortunately, when I was a student, I heard people say things like that too. I am convinced though that this is not how God desires us to live our lives or “encourage” our college-aged brothers and sisters!
I understand that the post-graduation transition looks different for each person depending on the experience they had in college/ campus ministry and the places they are moving back to. At our church and the church Jeff interned at during seminary, many students commute to school or live nearby. These students are involved in the same churches they will be in after they graduate and the transition is more seamless (though starting to 9-5 job is a not a small change for them either). But for those who studied away from home, like us, or really experienced God at school learning to love, follow, and serve him first in the context of a campus ministry, I have noticed that the transition is often more complicated. I have seen some of my friends really take off spiritually and grow much more after college, and I have seen many others who have struggled.
Having been a college student myself away from home, staffed with a campus ministry, and talked with friends through their post-graduation experiences, I want to offer a few words of encouragement for those stepping into the post-college world in the upcoming months.
1. Prepare yourself to find a good local church, settle in, serve, and give your heart there.
This is the one thing that I have found makes the biggest difference between my friends who have graduated and thrived and who have really struggled with their faith after school. It’s not that the friends who found good churches were more spiritually mature or serious about their faith, but that the Christian life is impossible to live out alone.
While there are extreme cases where Christians may have to go through a time of isolation from other believers (being in an unreached people group, being jailed for the faith, etc.) and God is able to preserve them even in those circumstances, Scripture gives us stern admonitions to not neglect meeting with other believers because we cannot make it apart from them (Heb. 10:24-25). This isn’t because going to church proves our faith, but because we were never meant to make it on our own. Some college graduates mistakenly believe that their faith was never real and their spirituality was only an act of conforming to those around them. They think this because after they graduated, they stopped pursuing God. While there is something to be said about our faith being tested and God humbling us from our prideful view of our own spirituality, I think more often than not, it’s because these Christians believe that having true faith would have meant they would be able to continue to walk with God without being settled into a solid church. In reality, Scripture says that we cannot live the Christian life apart from the local church and the means of grace God has given us through the church. (I’ve written about some of that here for those interested: When You Don’t Feel Like Getting Up For Church)
I encourage all who are moving on from campus life to start looking for a church that is gospel-centered and is solidly committed to preaching the Scriptures, loving God and loving people. Learn a bit about what to look for in a church if you’re not going back to your home church and start praying about it even now. (You can start here: 9 marks of a healthy church). I know it’s easy to get discouraged when looking for a new church, and without people around you it gets easier and easier not to go, so I encourage you to even try to get connected with other Christians you know that are already in your new city before you go. You can also look up churches online for example at the Gospel Coalition Church Directory or Redeemer City-To-City churches.
2. Don’t try to replicate your college experience, but find out what it means to follow and serve God in your new stage of life.
College is a unique time and college ministry is a unique place. Life is different because as a college student, the amount of time you have, your responsibilities, and circumstances will never be replicated again. That’s one of the reason why in many ways, college is a special time many begin to experience God in fellowship with other Christians, serving him by making choices about what they spend their time doing, and sharing their faith with the students they have constant interaction with in the dorms, classrooms, and dining halls.
Life after college is different. There isn’t anything inherent better or worse about it, it’s just different. The responsibilities, opportunities, and day-to-day life routines will change– and that is a good thing because it is a God thing. God is the one who controls your circumstances, and you need to trust that there is no better place to grow to love him and love people than the one he has sovereignly placed you in. This doesn’t mean it’s wrong to seek to change your circumstances (like if you’re in an unhealthy church, or in extreme cases like an abusive relationship, etc.), but that there is no “ideal” life season, job, or situation you need in order to love God, love people, and grow mature in. It will be really hard for you if you think that the only way to keep loving and serving God is by doing what you did when you were in college. Why? Because you won’t be in college anymore. So, as I did when I became a new mom and moved into a new stage of life and as I am still doing now, I encourage those transitioning to pray and ask God what it means to serve and love him now. The heart of what you learned and practiced in college will remain the same– treasuring his word, growing to know him more, loving people around you– but the way it looks will be (and should be) different.
I have found that many who think that serving God at work will look the same as what they did in college end up either feeling guilty about not being able to do the same things and/or not knowing what it means to do their God-given work in a Biblical sense. Some even give up, discouraged, and “settle”. I believe that many Christians struggle because they don’t know how to make sense of the mundane work that makes up most of their days. One recommendation I have is to read up on some resources about God and work that I’ve referenced before on this blog. (There are some at the end of this old post that can get you started: Why Does My Work Matter?)
3. Humbly bring back what you learned from college to the new (or old) churches you’re going back to.
I am so thankful for the work that college ministries do on campus. I was heavily involved in my campus ministry when I was in college and worked at one post-graduation. But I think that one thing that many college students aren’t prepared for is life in their local churches after they have had a really great time of growing and learning in the context of their campuses. This sometimes leads to major discouragement, discontent, frustration, and disillusionment.
This is where finding a good, solid church is so important because it will help you to see what it means to live out the Christian life in a fuller scope than just the college years. I also think that recognizing that serving and loving God will look different for different people in different seasons of life will help many to adjust to going back to churches or entering churches that aren’t filled with college students. At the same time, I believe that those who have experienced God in deeper and new ways at school can still bring back what they learned to the churches at home (or their new churches). This doesn’t mean necessarily starting or leading the same type of ministry that you saw in college, but seeking to see what the vision of the local church and the leaders are, coming on board with that, prayerfully considering and asking the church leaders how you can serve, and using all that you have learned in order to build up the local body of Christ. It is okay to recognize the unique experience you had or even see some of the things that may be lacking or needed in the local church. But rather than using your college experience as a measure to judge other places, see the experiences and lessons you have learned as entrusted to you by God. When you see them as a gift to be stewarded, you can humbly pray for opportunities to serve and use your gifts or perspective in support of your church’s vision, and in time they can be used and leveraged for the sake of the church and for the glory of God.
4. Direct thanks to God for your time in college rather than getting lost in nostalgia.
There isn’t anything wrong with missing friends or fellowship (or free time!) But nostalgia in and of itself often leads to a discontent that ultimately indicates a heart that says “God, you have placed me in a worse place than before. What you have given me now is not best.” In college, I loved taking long walks on our beautiful campus, sometimes hours at a time, praying, thinking, journaling. I remember such sweet moments of communion with the Lord as I prayed to him, sang to him, and reflected on all the things I was learning. Now, with two young girls at home, I can’t just take spontaneous breaks like that anymore. I can be tempted choose to react to these memories with a sense of loss (“Oh, I’ll never get that again. Those were the good old days.”), or dismiss them as not “real life.” But I don’t think either of these reactions is what pleasing to God.
Remembrance is one of the themes of the Bible, particularly remembrance of what God has done. But this remembrance isn’t empty nostalgia, longing for the good old days. Ecclesiastes 7:10 says, “Say not, ‘Why were the former days better than these?’ For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.” Rather, the remembrance we are called to is one that reflects on the way God has delivered and God has helped us already in a way that strengthens our faith in his promises for the future. This is seen most importantly in our remembrance of the work of Christ on the cross, and in smaller ways, in the specific works of God through our lives. In 1 Samuel 7:2, after God delivered the Israelites from battle, Samuel set up a stone, named it Ebenezer, which means “stone of help,” in order to remember that “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” For me, instead of being sucked into longing for my college days, going to Cornell is sweet when this type of remembrance is in view. I remember who I was before college, how God worked powerfully in me at that time, and I give praise to him. I get to remember places I prayed, what I prayed there, and how he has answered since then. I am reminded of how far he’s brought me since graduation and how he is so good and so faithful to me.
I encourage upcoming college graduates who have experienced God deeply and loved their time at their campus fellowships to rather than look at what a campus ministry was able to do or at the “college life” with longing, to look to and give thanks to God who was the one who worked in your heart during the time there and through the people you knew there.
5. Resist cynicism. Trust him with your regrets, recognizing and clinging to the grace of God.
While there are some people who can’t stop longing for their college days, I know some who can’t look back without being dismissive of their college selves, campus ministry experiences, and anything college-related. I understand. It took a while before I could look back at my freshman self, full of zeal and immaturity, without cringing and just shaking my head. And then, there’s the mistakes I made, sins I committed, and people that I hurt that I feel regret for still, even after 10 years.
Sometimes, I see cynicism form because stepping into the “real world” from the “college bubble” was tough on the faith of some and they stumbled and fell. Sometimes it’s because people had rough experiences in their campus ministries and only after stepping out did they see how it impacted their view of God and the church negatively. I see some who question their faith, God, and Christianity and begin to question of whether or not what they had in college was “real” or even whether it was their “real self.”
There’s much I can say here and each person’s struggle is unique, so just briefly, I want to encourage you to look at the signs of grace in your life and consider that God knew completely what was in your heart and what was going on around you, and see how he was working in you despite yourself and despite imperfect Christians around you. As you go look back at your younger, less mature, more naiive, less sanctified self (which was really you at the time, just all those things–less mature, more naiive, less sanctified), don’t rest your gaze there. Let the grace of God bring you to a place of deeper gratitude, worship, humility, and grace. Gratitude for his blood that covers your sin and his patient perseverance with you in spite of yourself, worship for his immeasurable love and mercy with which he loves you now even though in a few years by the grace of God you will more mature and Christlike than today, and humility and grace towards others who are more immature and young in the faith than you. When you do this, you can be honest– both about the ways you fell and failed and about the ways he truly did work in and even through you by his grace and to his glory.
6. If you don’t end up struggling, praise God! And pray for your friends who are having a hard time.
Some of you already have a strong local church to go home to and a healthy understanding of work, God, church, and life. Praise God for this! I just encourage you to remember and be kind towards your friends who have a harder time transitioning. Instead of saying (or thinking) “what’s wrong with you?” I encourage you to consider that while you are strong, you have a unique opportunity to strengthen the weak. Pray for your friends, particularly those who became Christians in college, to find and settle in good churches. Listen to and lift up those who are struggling, and thank him for his grace toward you in your transition.
7. Lastly, consider the faithfulness of your God and look to the future with joyful hope!
I have always resisted a doomsday portrayal of college graduation. Why? Because it makes it seem like God is the God of the college campus and not of the rest of life! Or that his grace and the gospel which began a good work in you is insufficient to carry you through to the end (as opposed to Phil 1:6.) This is simply not true. In the same way that many of us may not have sought God as we entered into college, but he worked in us miraculously to bring us to himself and into a community of people who love him, it is not our faithfulness to him that will sustain us through the years, but his love and faithfulness to us in Christ.
Your life will change in the coming year, but look to him who has not, does not, and will never change. His grace and the knowledge of his mercy has not been exhausted in your 4 (or 3 or 5) years in college. He saved us so that in the ages to come, he may show to us the immeasurable riches of his grace! (Eph. 2:4-7) That does not end after graduation! He has worked in your life up until now, and he is able to keep you from falling– from the day you walk in cap and gown until the day of his coming. Be encouraged, looking to him who alone does not change, who has been with you up to now and will continue to carry you through to the end.
Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 24-25 ESV)
-
I love celebrating the Lord’s Supper at our church. It wasn’t always like this, but I look forward to holy communion as one of the highlights of our worship services every month.
As a mom with young children, I try to catch as much of our Sunday worship service as possible, but I normally head out to the nursery with the girls after we finish singing and though we can see and hear the sermon in the nursery (which I’m really thankful for!) I sometimes feel I’ve missed the whole service though I’m right there. A few weeks ago, it was one of those I-missed-all-of-service-again days, but in the few minutes that I got to take part of communion, God ministered to my heart exactly what I needed.
Growing up, the services where we took communion were hardest to sit through as a kid. It made the service feel much longer, even though it was only adding at most another 10-15 minutes. When I got older and started to experience God more, I felt somehow that this part of service should be moving, and for some reason thought that the way to do this was to do a thorough search and confession of my own sin. There were times when I came in with guilt, and so the prompts to confess our sins as not to take part in communion in an unworthy manner were helpful (1 Cor. 11:27-28). But there were times that I didn’t come in with any big hidden sin and so didn’t feel so moved.
No one taught me that I was supposed to do this and maybe it’s just me who has ever thought like that, but basically I didn’t know what I was supposed to be thinking and feeling and how to direct my thoughts and affections during communion. I don’t think that I’m alone in this experience. During praise, we know we’re supposed to be thinking about the lyrics and singing to God. During the sermons, whether or not we succeed, we know we should be listening and hearing from God through the preaching of his Word. But what about the time in service when we take part in communion? Was I right– is it about having a time of individual confession of sins? Or as someone else said she used to think, is it a time for personal prayer and meditation?
God has been growing my experience of the rich blessing this sacrament is intended to be for God’s people and I want to share a bit of how in hopes that you would also be blessed as you partake of it at your church. (The second point has been most helpful to me, so jump to that part if you only have time to skim!)
1. Remembrance of Christ, not focused introspection
One thing that threw me off when I started going to GCC was that though there is a time in our service set aside for corporate and individual repentance and confession of sins, there isn’t much time given after receiving communion for us to sit on our own and pray. You can if you want, but that time isn’t built in. Why not?
I believe as Christians, part of life is regular repentance and for asking the Lord to search our hearts for any ways we are living that displeases him. We are also called to take seriously the warning not to drink judgment upon ourselves when coming to the Lord’s Supper in an unworthy manner and sometimes, we need space and time during communion to confess. But for those who come with genuine faith and repentant hearts, and those who have been walking faithfully with him by his grace, it is a great help to know that communion is not a designated time to dig deep inside our hearts in solemn introspection, but a time to remember and proclaim the death of Christ. When we remember that the Lord’s Supper is meant to be a proclamation of Christ’s death until he comes again, we do think of our own sin and unworthiness, but then are called then to bring and rest our gaze in faith to Jesus who died for us.
The Heidelberg catechism says (this is rich!) in Q&A 79 that through the establishing of the Lord’s Supper:
[Christ] wants to teach us that just as bread and wine nourish the temporal life, so too his crucified body and poured-out blood are the true food and drink of our souls for eternal life.
But more important, he wants to assure us, by this visible sign and pledge,
that we, through the Holy Spirit’s work, share in his true body and blood as surely as our mouths receive these holy signs in his remembrance, and that all of his suffering and obedience are as definitely ours as if we personally had suffered and made satisfaction for our sins.
When taking communion, I don’t just have to think solemnly about this week or this month’s sins to be filled with gratitude. So much more is brought to mind when focusing my thoughts on how Christ’s suffering and obedience are mine through faith. Meditating on Christ’s death I know that through his death I have forgiveness of all my past sins (Heb. 10:12-14). I have hope for my future though I will sin again (1 John 2:1-2). Because of his death I can be free from the debt (Col. 2:13-14) of sin. Because he died and I am united with him, my old self has died, and I am no longer a slave to sin (Rom. 6:5-8)! These things and more we are given the space to remember at the Lord’s Supper, and as we grow in our understanding and experience of the meaning of Christ’s death for us, our time becomes that much richer.
2. For our assurance and strengthening of faith, not drugery and hollow ritual
I love that through the Lord’s Supper, God has given us a very physical means to say, “Yes, I believe. Yes, I trust. Yes, I will not forget.” As we eat and drink, we are saying “Yes, amen, I believe this is true. Jesus, you died for my sins and I am one with you by grace through faith.” But the Lord’s Supper is not only a declaration of faith, but a means of strengthening our faith.
In Sunday School at GCC, we went through a book on the Heidelberg Catechism and this one question has completely changed the way that I have seen this sacrament as a means of God’s grace. I love this!
Q 75. How does the holy supper remind and assure you that you share in Christ’s one sacrifice on the cross and in all his benefits?
A. In this way: Christ has commanded me and all believers to eat this broken bread and to drink this cup in remembrance of him. With this command come these promises:
First,
as surely as I see with my eyes
the bread of the Lord broken for me
and the cup shared with me,
so surely
his body was offered and broken for me
and his blood poured out for me
on the cross.Second,
as surely as
I receive from the hand of the one who serves,
and taste with my mouth
the bread and cup of the Lord,
given me as sure signs of Christ’s body and blood,
so surely
he nourishes and refreshes my soul for eternal life
with his crucified body and poured-out blood.When I take communion, do I doubt that I am eating bread or drinking the juice/wine served to me? Not really. So, just as sure as I am that I am seeing, eating, and drinking– that’s how sure I can be that his body was broken for me and his blood shed for my sins. Kevin DeYoung explains it like this:
Have you ever come to church feeling dirty for the way you stared at the young woman at the Gap? Have you ever sat through an entire sermon thinking about how you blew up at your kids that morning or how prayerless you’ve been for the past month? Have you ever come to the end of a church service only to think, I’m so distracted. I keep thinking about football? Or, I keep thinking about getting ready for the company we’re having over. I can’t even sit through church right? Have you ever wondered if God can really be for you when you are oblivious to Him so much of the time?? If so, you need this gospel table.
The Lord knows our faith is weak. That’s why He’s given us sacraments to see, taste, and touch. As surely as you can see the bread and cup, so surely does God love you through Christ. As surely as you chew the food and drain the drink, so surely has Christ died for you. Here at the Table, the faith becomes sight. The simple bread and cup give assurance that Christ came for you, Christ died for you, Christ is coming again for you. Whenever we eat the bread and drink from the cup, we not only re-proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes again (1 Cor. 11:26), we re-convince ourselves of God’s provision on the cross.
(The Good News We Almost Forgot, p. 137)
The “as surely” has completely changed the way I approach and appreciate the Lord’s Supper each week. This sacrament has been granted to us by Jesus for our encouragement. I have been and am being strengthened in my faith through this tangible, physical practice of receiving and taking communion because of these words: “As surely” and “so, surely.”
3. Fellowship with my family, not just an individual experience
At GCC, we celebrate Holy Communion once a month. After Rev. Chang repeats the account of what happened at the Last Supper, the people in the congregation are invited to walk up to the front and as each person takes a piece of bread, the one serving it reminds him or her “the body of Christ, broken for you” and as the person dips the bread in the grape juice, “the blood of Christ, shed for you.”
In their song Beneath The Cross, Keith and Kristen Getty write/sing:
Beneath the cross of Jesus His family is my own—
Once strangers chasing selfish dreams,
Now one through grace alone.I love the act of being able to walk up to the front of the sanctuary with my brothers and sisters for communion. We walk up together, not taking communion as individuals, but one body in Christ (1 Cor. 10:17). I not only remember that we are doing this as a family, but it is because of Christ’s death that we are a family. We smile at each other as we make way for others to step into line in front of us from the pews. We see the person in front of us receive the bread and cup. We moms are ushered to the front of the sanctuary in front of everyone after they’re already done taking communion, being assured it’s ok though we’re pretty embarrassed, because it took us longer than expected to get out of the nursery with the kids (just happened once). It moves me to remember that I am coming to the table with other sinner-saved-saints, others who have and are experiencing the redeeming power of Christ, others who are broken and weak just like me. I am taking communion with people who struggle with sins in ways that they may have shared with me. And we, together, remember that all our sins are washed away because of Christ and we look forward in hopes of his coming where we, together, will be presented before him as a spotless bride because of the death.
Who should come to the Lord’s Table?
Question 81 of the Heidelberg Catechism warns that “Hypocrites and those who are unrepentant, however,
eat and drink judgment on themselves.” But it also gives this great hope to us in answering “Who should come to the Lord’s table?” It says:Those who are displeased with themselves
because of their sins,
but who nevertheless trust
that their sins are pardoned
and that their remaining weakness is covered
by the suffering and death of Christ,
and who also desire more and more
to strengthen their faith
and to lead a better life.Yes, we who are displeased with ourselves in our sins, but trust nevertheless that our sins are pardoned and weaknesses covered by the suffering and death of our Savior who we remember. We who know that we cannot on our own, but desire to, have stronger faith and live more and more unto him. We are invited to come. Thank God for this invitation to feast at his table for the nourishing of our souls.
-
Note: I’ve never really stepped into the realm of online debates and discussions, but since a small one started on my Facebook yesterday, I decided to respond here for the sake of having better control over format and readability. I don’t intend to be using my blog in this way much in the future, but I am hoping that this can edify our faith regarding a topic that is relevant right now in the broader evangelical world.
Edit: Comments are welcome and will be sent directly to me through the site and I will respond to them via email if you leave yours (though it make take time!), but I won’t be posting them publicly because I’d rather not start a public debate here.
—
Yesterday, I posted a link to this video by David Platt, where he argues why we should not believe accounts of people that have claimed to gone to heaven and returned back. I believe it is worth watching and though a friend pointed out that we may disagree about his implication that many people are writing these books for the sake of money, I agree with everything else he says.
In response to this video, a friend posted this question: “What if God chooses to reveal certain things to some people? The kid might not have his theology correct, but does that mean everything he saw or envisioned was false, and therefore not to be believed?”
The following is a combination of what I wrote and in addition, my newly written response to some of the things that came up as others wrote on my Facebook wall.
1. We need to test these claimed experiences against the Word of God.
As Christians, we believe in the authority of the Word of God in all of life. People in all types of religions and beliefs have had near death experiences– What about those who claim that there is nothing because that’s what they saw? Or if someone says that they went to heaven apart from knowing Christ? Or if someone said they went to heaven and saw Jesus standing among other gods? We would reject those claims because they are antithetical to what we know is true as revealed in the word of God. If the Scriptures are true, then it has final say over my view of reality, understanding of right vs. wrong, and even the interpretation of my own (and dare I say, others’) experiences. Just because a kid may seem to know things that had to be shown to him by someone else doesn’t mean it’s from God and doesn’t serve as proof of the accuracy of the vision, so our first instinct no matter what is that we need to test the claims against the Scriptures.
The problem as I see it with our reception of such near-death accounts that are popular in the evangelical circle is that we are often quick to accept and even promote them because they seem to be affirming some of the things we believe (heaven and the existence of Jesus namely) but are slower to really test the other claims against the word of God. In some ways, it’s inconsistent. Often, we are willing to explain away or reject a non-Christian’s interpretation of their own subjective experience (e.g. of whats right or wrong) but believe or ask others to believe the experience of these people who say they are Christian. More than that, it’s potentially dangerous because so many Christians are willing to trust these accounts because they are labeled “Christian”.
2. I don’t think there is a firm neutral or middle ground in these cases.
Though it is tempting to take a stance of “maybe it’s a mixture of truth and fiction” I don’t think that practically speaking, these books are leading Christians to say “maybe it’s from God, but kind of off in some parts, so let’s just take the parts we KNOW are true from Scripture, and then leave the rest.” Most people want to read these books and are drawn to them not in order to be reminded of what they know to be true (that God is Triune, that Jesus is worshipped, that there are heavenly beings, etc.) because if so, they could just read the Bible. And they don’t just want to know what someone else thinks heaven might be like. The appeal of these books is their claim to know something about what God hasn’t chosen to reveal to us already in his Word– knowledge beyond what we’ve been already given that will give us some sort of certainty regarding or picture of life after death.
The authors, selling these books as non-fiction, are asking the reader to believe that what happened was a 100% true event. They are making claims about reality and about an actual experience of heaven. They’re not just saying “here are my own thoughts/dreams/desires about what heaven would be like.” Rather, they are written with a purpose and in a way that seeks to convince the readers of the veracity of their claims. That’s why such an important part of these accounts is access to knowledge that would be unknowable if they didn’t really go to heaven.
Because these books aren’t just written as a series of thoughts that distinguish what is written about with authority from Scripture vs. what may be true, but with an intention of being taken wholly as real and reliable experiences, taking the middle ground of “let’s just take some and leave some,” to me, isn’t really an option. Yes, we can affirm that there may be some truth in them because some parts align with Scripture and we can say we agree with some parts and disagree with others. But I believe that in assessing the whole of the accounts, such claims are either true — these are actual accurate depictions of heaven and these people actually went to heaven as they claimed– or they are fiction– they didn’t go to heaven and their claim to authority about such things are unfounded and not to be trusted.
3. Scripture is not silent: Why I doubt these to-heaven-and-back experiences to the point of rejecting them personally.
a) I do not think there is a Biblical basis for believing there is a possibility to enter heaven and return, but rather strong evidence against it.
John MacArthur writes:
There is simply no reason to believe anyone who claims to have gone to heaven and returned. John 3:13 says, “No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man.” And John 1:18 says, “No one has seen God at any time.”
Four biblical authors had visions of heaven—not near-death experiences. Isaiah and Ezekiel (Old Testament prophets) and Paul and John (New Testament apostles) all had such visions. Two other biblical figures—Micaiah and Stephen—got glimpses of heaven, but what they saw is merely mentioned, not described (2 Chronicles 18:18; Acts 7:55).
Hebrews 9:27 also says it is appointed for a man to die once and after that to face judgment and Tim Challies references this, writing:
It is for man to die once and then the resurrection. To allow a man (or a boy) to experience heaven and then to bring him back would not be grace but cruelty. The only biblical example we have of a man being caught up to heaven is Paul and it’s very interesting that he was forbidden to tell anything about it. And the reason he even mentioned this experience was not to offer encouragement that heaven exists, but to serve as a part of his “gospel boasting.” He saw heaven and was told to say nothing about it. This was a unique experience in a unique time and for a unique reason.
We live in a narcissistic culture, and it shows in these accounts of people who claim they’ve been to heaven. They sound as if they viewed paradise in a mirror, keeping themselves in the foreground. They say comparatively little about God or His glory. But the glory of God is what the Bible says fills, illuminates, and defines heaven. Instead, the authors of these stories seem obsessed with details like how good they felt—how peaceful, how happy, how comforted they were; how they received privileges and accolades; how fun and enlightening their experience was; and how many things they think they now understand perfectly that could never be gleaned from Scripture alone. In short, they glorify self while barely noticing God’s glory. They highlight everything but what’s truly important about heaven.
It is quite true that heaven is a place of perfect bliss—devoid of all sorrow and sin, full of exultation and enjoyment—a place where grace and peace reign totally unchallenged. Heaven is where every true treasure and every eternal reward is laid up for the redeemed. Anyone whose destiny is heaven will certainly experience more joy and honor there than the fallen mind is capable of comprehending—infinitely more than any fallen creature deserves. But if you actually saw heaven and lived to tell about it, those things are not what would capture your heart and imagination.
You would be preoccupied instead with the majesty and grace of the One whose glory fills the place.
Here is where I would have to personally reject the descriptions given of heaven in such accounts because they are just too different from the picture given in Scripture to be believable. I remember a preacher saying something like how he heard someone say at a funeral that the man who had passed away was in heaven, on a couch, sipping beer, and watching football on TV with Jesus. What if someone said they went to heaven and that’s what everyone will be doing? Does Scripture say there is no football or TV or beer in heaven? No, not exactly… and I don’t have the authority of Scripture to say that this scenario is completely impossible throughout all of eternity, but I think here I would say that it is reasonable to reject such an experience of heaven because this is not what heaven is all about. In the same way, I think that we can with reasonableness, personally reject many of the descriptions of heaven that merely reflect the enjoyment of all the things we enjoyed here on earth apart from God. Is it impossible that there are happy reunions, flying, wings, beer, tv, etc.? No and truly, I don’t know. But if the account is filled with such details rather than with God’s glory, then the picture as a whole opposes that which is given in Scripture enough in terms of the overwhelming focus and experience that I think I have good grounds to believe that person did not truly see heaven.3. Why I think that such accounts are more hurtful than helpful
• I do not believe such accounts encourage us to deeper faith in God and the sufficiency of the Scriptures, but rather tends to turn people toward subjective extra-biblical experiences.As Christians, we believe that God has given us all that we need for our knowledge of God and for living a life pleasing to him through the Scriptures. This, in theological terms, is what Protestants explain as doctrine concerning the sufficiency of Scripture. We believe that there are secret things that belong to God, but the things that are necessary for our living a life of obedience to Christ have already been revealed in his word. (Deut. 29:29) This gives us tremendous assurance and hope and gratitude. We are assured that we stand on solid ground and that there is a light to our path readily given to us. We are assured because we don’t just take in and believe whatever other people tell us about God, but can test it against Scripture to see if what they say is actually true(Acts 17:11). Christians in history have fought hard and died for daring to make such a claim (e.g. Protestant reformation and objecting Papal authority).
Here is a quote from the article above in a podcast by John Piper:God’s beef with necromancy is that it belittles the sufficiency of his communication. Why would you inquire of the dead to find out what you want to know instead of inquiring of me? And if they say: Well, I have inquired of you and you didn’t tell me what I want to know. He would say: Well, that is your problem. I have told you what you need to know. You don’t need to know about such and such if I haven’t told you. And, in fact, if you go trying to inquire about such and such that I haven’t told you, you are dishonoring me. So that is the nature of the argument. And, therefore, I think the prohibition of séances and necromancy applies to this kind of thing and people ought to stop writing those books.It’s not that I don’t believe that God can grant visions and dreams– I know of people and have at least one friend who have experienced visions of Christ before they knew him. But these visions of him brought them to seek out the truth of God as revealed in the word of God. They did not add any new insight into what God has chosen to be silent about in Scripture. The fact that many Christians are reading these books for the purpose of affirming their faith shows the way our hearts are prone to turn to the subjective experiences of ourselves or others rather than standing on the unchangeable gift of the trustworthy word of God for our confidence and encouragement. Additionally, it shows our natural human desire to try to go beyond what has been written that God specifically prohibits us from doing (1 Cor. 4:6). Again, it’s not that I don’t think it’s important for us to personally experience the work of God in our lives or to hear and be encouraged about it in the lives of others, but so often it comes out of our hearts’ unbelief that God has already given us all we need to be sure about our eternity if we are in Christ and God has, in love, granted us all we need to know about it in his Scriptures.• I have reservations about whether these stories are in general profitable for faith and the Christian life in the long run.
In Luke 16:19-31, Jesus tells a parable of the rich man and Lazarus. The rich man, having gone to hell wants to warn his brothers about his torment and Jesus says “If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.” Writing about this, Todd Burpo says,At the same time, in his parable of the rich man and Lazarus, Jesus suggests that stories from the afterlife are of no spiritual value. Moses and the prophets offer all the spiritual proof anyone needs. And as Jesus told Thomas, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29).
Jesus says that we are blessed in not seeing and still believing. These accounts often ask us to believe because this other person has seen. This confidence is not one that I believe is helpful in the long run to keep us standing when trials and questions come. I know of people who have seen visions of Jesus, had great supernatural experiences, but have still walked away from God. If the promises and word of God (e.g. the prophets and Moses) are not enough, I don’t believe that mystical experiences of heaven or the accounts of them will produce true faith.
• The way it represents us as Christians to non-Christians.
I understand that much of our excitement about heaven-and-back accounts comes from a desire to be able to show to our non-Christian friends and family that yes, our faith is true and not made up. This is my own take and opinion, but I fear that these accounts in many ways actually prove to discredit us in making us seem impressionable and naiive. Some of the descriptions of heaven are so trite and confirming of the way the Christian heaven is misrepresented in media and in cartoons or movies that I would feel embarrassed offering such a description to a friend. And to me, rather than convince people of the validity of Scripture through these experiences, I feel like the non-critical consumption of such materials by Christians perpetuates the stereotype others have of us as gullible, ready to believe anything that makes us feel better, etc.
Even worse, I fear that these man-centered accounts misrepresent Christianity and the message of the gospel itself. If heaven is about all these great benefits and not centered on the glory of Christ and if it is presented this way to the world, it affects the way we present the gospel. Though we may emphasize that believing in Christ is not about getting a “ticket to heaven,” it makes sense that so many would see it this way: Christ as a means toward a goal, and not God as the goal and object of worship for all eternity and us fulfilling our purposes through worshipping and enjoying him forever.
• The perpetuation of a culture-saturated, unbiblical understanding of God and heaven.
This was already addressed in my third point above in terms of John MacArthur talking about our narcissistic culture. But in addition to this, one quote I heard during one of John Piper’s messages a long time ago and still remember is that Jesus didn’t come to fulfill all the desires we had before we were Christians, but to change our desires. I think that in the end, the problem with so many of these portrayals of heaven is that they are exactly what most people would want heaven to be–whether or not they worship and believe in God– except with Jesus somehow thrown in there.
Yes, there is a longing in all of our hearts for the world made right– no more war, sadness, fear, death, or pain. And yes, it is comforting to know that and to look forward to that. Yes, death is grievous to us while we are on this earth and we have a deep sense of the fact that this world just isn’t the way it’s supposed to be, and every time we go to a funeral we are reminded of the sting of death and how the world is fallen and how this amount of grief did not exist before the fall. And we take heart and comfort that those who have trusted in Jesus are now with him forever even though they are no longer with us. There are desires in the hearts of all people that point us to the fact that we were all made for eternity. The Christian faith gives us confidence that no other worldview can in terms of the peace, purpose, security, and love that we long for is promised to us through Christ and our eternity is secure in him.
But. But what does it say about our understanding of heaven that someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus, who doesn’t desire to worship God, who rejects the necessity of the cross of Christ would find it appealing? The vision of heaven given in Scripture is so much about the worship of Christ, the glory in the redemption purchased for us through his death, the holiness of God– God himself– that it doesn’t make sense apart from our loving and trusting and worshipping the God of the Bible in this life why we would want it at all (Is. 6, Rev. 4-5, Rev. 7:9-17 ). This is why as we grow as Christians to love him more and more, we realize more that heaven becomes desirable for us not because of the good things we’ll get to enjoy there, but because we will be with the Lord forever (2 Cor. 5:8, Phil. 1:23).
It’s about Who you’re with
I remember growing up, a friend always quoted his older brother who said “it’s not about what you’re doing but who you’re with.” (Or maybe it was “it’s not about where you are,” I don’t quite remember.) In seminary, one of my professors in talking about eternity, mentioned that when a man proposes to his girlfriend, the first thing that comes out of her mouth is not “where are we going to live?” because what matters most at that moment is not so much the details of what’s going to happen for the rest of their lives, but who she is marrying. It’s an imperfect analogy, but in many ways this is the same thing with our understanding of eternity. There are some details regarding what heaven as well as the new heavens and new earth which are given to us for our edification and encouragement in Scripture, but overwhelmingly what is to matter most to us is not so much the details of what exactly heaven will be like, but how we will be with our glorious Lord and Savior — how we have been rescued out of darkness and into his marvelous light, how we have been enabled by his saving work to see his worth and value, how he who knew no sin was made to be sin for us and will bear the scars of the cross for eternity and how it will take eternity and then some to fathom the riches of his grace that he has in store for those of us who believe.
So, this Good Friday and Easter, may we be ever captivated by the glories of the cross of Jesus Christ and the reality of his resurrection. He who we know came down from heaven, revealed to us the Father, and suffered and died that we would be able to be with him. His resurrection is part of, if not the greatest proof given in Scripture of the reality of what is in store for us in our futures! (1 Cor. 15) And may we be able to say ultimately, it’s about Who I’m going to be with– and that’s enough for me.
—
Resources:
Are Visits To Heaven For Real- John MacArthur
Book Review of Heaven Is For Real- Tim Challies
We Don’t Have to Read the Book or See the Movie to Know Heaven Is Real- Nancy Guthrie
How Real Is the Book ‘Heaven Is for Real’? (podcast) – John Piper
-
During my second pregnancy, my struggle with anxiety led to sleepless nights and terrible nightmares. Though all the things I feared were hypothetical futures, I couldn’t help being anxious about the health and wellbeing of our baby. One night, as I lay in bed, there was a crash that came from the other room. I don’t remember what it was now but at the time, I knew it wasn’t a big deal. My daughter on the other hand, woke up and started to cry loudly for us. I saw her daddy (my heroic husband!) run in, scoop her up in his arms, and hush her back to sleep. That night, I recognized that I had just seen a small parable to God’s care for me and there was a paradigm shift in the way I handled my own fear and anxiety.
Though Jeff knew that our daughter was not in any danger and there was nothing to fear, he rushed to comfort her simply because she was scared. 1 Peter 5:8 was brought to mind, where we are told to cast our anxiety onto God because he cares for us. Up until that point, I had been trying to fight my own anxiety through telling myself reasons why I shouldn’t be afraid. First, there was nothing that indicated strongly that there was something wrong. And secondly, as a Christian, I trust that even if my worst fears came true, God would still use it for good, God still loved us, and he could be trusted. But still, I was afraid. Seeing my husband respond to our daughter even though he knew that the source of the scary sound wasn’t dangerous, I realized that the comfort offered by Scripture is not only that God cares about the things we are anxious about (i.e. that he knows what we need and will take care of us), but that God also cares about the fact that we are afraid. In other words, God does not only address my anxiety and fear by telling me why I should not be afraid, but he invites me to bring my fear and feelings of anxiety to him as his child.
I think that often, the way people (myself included) address fear and anxiety is inadequate because we think we can command ourselves or others out of being fearful. Or we think that we can just logically reason our way out of it. Or that having “enough faith” means being unafraid. In this, we miss the fact that life is scary. And we miss the tender words that God has for those of us who are easily afraid.
Jeff didn’t sternly correct our daughter when she cried because hearing a huge crash in the middle of the night and not knowing what it is when you’re only two years old — that is scary. In the same way, living in a broken and fallen world is scary. The world is not as God made it to be and is not yet what it will be when he returns, and so there is sickness, disease, suffering, pain, and death inevitably weaved somehow into all of our futures. Knowing that health and long lives and physical safety isn’t promised to those we love is scary. Stepping into relationships with sinful people who can (and will) hurt us is scary. Having our eyes open to the fact that any sense of our own security in terms of physical safety, health, financial stability, etc. is really an illusion is scary. And, “don’t be anxious, just trust God more!” though well-intentioned is not always the most helpful thing for those of us with fearful hearts to hear.
It’s true that oftentimes, I need to see that my anxiety is stemming from illogical or unbiblical thinking. I may need to remember that “non-information is not information” (as my husband has told me) because I tend to fill in unknowns with worst-case scenarios. I may need to preach to myself from Matthew 6 about how worrying doesn’t accomplish anything, how God provides all we truly need, how he cares for even the sparrows, and other precious truths such as these. But sometimes, though what I fear may not happen and I know God would pull me through it even if it did, the very fact that it could happen fills me with dread. In these moments, knowing and believing the truth doesn’t necessarily take away the fear I feel, and I am learning 1. that’s okay, and 2. what to do with the fear that remains. I am seeing that sometimes the most comforting thing is not hearing why I shouldn’t be afraid, but knowing that when I am afraid, my Father is near, he loves me, and he’s got me.
In a short video, Is It a Sin to Be Afraid?, Ed Welch talks about the fact that the New Testament addresses fear not as a sin, but a given in a scary world, and how the fearful are tenderly called to turn to God in the midst of their fear. I love how he describes the passage in Luke 12:32 here:
The imperative form in Scripture has a little more breadth than we give it credit for…The passage in Luke ‘Don’t be afraid. Don’t be anxious,’ sounds as if it is a command and then it ends with this wonderful sort of conclusion. “Don’t be afraid”– there’s the command form, then it says “little flock” And as soon as it says ‘little flock’, it gives a completely different sense of the command. It’s “I know that you are vulnerable, I know that you feel defenseless and out of control in a very very difficult world.” “Please realize,” Jesus says, “that our God is a generous God who is not sitting far way while his children are in distress. He’s the God who wants to give us the very kingdom itself.”
[…] There is an assumption that we are going to be afraid because there are perilous kinds of things– and there is one prominent question: When you are afraid, where will you turn? Will you immediately try to strategize to keep the fearful thing at bay, or will you turn to the Lord and simply offer some version of ‘Lord, help’?”
Indeed, one of the most comforting things we could ever know is that whether or not our fears come true, and whether or not we are right to be afraid, we have a Father who loves us, cares for us, and responds to our cries with his presence. He calls us to call out to him with our fearful hearts. And what a comfort it is to know that our obedience to the instruction “Do not be afraid,” is not about keeping a stiff upper lip, but is simply our response as dear children to a Father’s loving invitation.
-
When our older daughter was an infant, someone said to Jeff and me, “I don’t know if you’ve experienced this yet, but as a parent there are so many choices to make and you don’t always know if you’re making the right one.” Two and a half years in, I have probably prayed more for wisdom in these last two weeks than I have my whole life. I have never felt like I didn’t know what I was doing on a daily basis like I do now and with this new awareness of my own need, I have come to cherish the Scriptures more for the way it informs our parenting and gives us a firm place to stand.
These days, one way I am seeing Scripture shape our parenting and bring clarity is in dealing with sin — both my own and my children’s. A friend recently observed that on Facebook, she often sees posts by friends complaining about their kids and that it seemed like the same friends often felt guilty, posting about how they were bad moms. Guilt-ridden confessions were then usually followed up with reassuring comments from friends. I am thankful for more seasoned moms who can tell me what I don’t need to feel guilty for — like when I needed to supplement with formula, or needing to nap or sleep in, or not being able to constantly present educationally stimulating material to my toddler and infant. And in the same way, I’m thankful for godly moms who can let me know what kind of behavior is normal for toddlers and I don’t need to worry about. But what about the so-called mommy guilt that comes from things that I do that are actually not okay, but wrong? Like losing my temper or being impatient? And what about the kind of behavior in my child that comes not because of childishness, but from a heart of rebellion and selfishness? In other words, how do I approach and deal with our sin? It’s not enough here to just hear “it’s normal.” It is comforting in a way to know that others struggle with the same thing that I and my children do but that doesn’t justify the way we sin against God and each other in our actions.
The biblical understanding of the process of sanctification and how God works in the hearts and lives of believers to make us more Christlike has been shedding light for me in terms of how I think about sin in the context of parenting. One illustration that has really helped me is from Doug Wilson’s series on parenting. In it, he says:
“Godly parenting is a function of becoming more like Jesus in the presence of little ones who are also in the process of becoming more like Jesus…It’s like a school of sanctification with the parents being in the upper grades and the kids being in the lower grades…Where the kids are, the parents once were. And where the parents are now, the children will be.” (Why Children Matter #4)
Here are some ways that understanding that my children and I are in the “school of sanctification” together as we walk through life is changing and challenging the way I think about their, and my, sin:
1. Not “you”, but “we”
When I was taking a counseling course with Ed Welch, he often said that you make progress and breakthrough with a counselee when you learn to say “we” and not “you.” He referred to finding the “normal in the abnormal” because in counseling, there will be issues that at first seem uncommon until we see that at the heart of the struggles are things that we all deal with. I am learning to say “we” when I see sin in my daughter’s life. Yes, I may not throw temper tantrums in the same way that a toddler does, but in my heart, do I ever complain? Or fuss? Am I ever impatient and demanding? Am I selfish? And am I doing these things at the very same time I am trying to correct my daughter?
I was reminded of this in seeing a friend after instructing her child saying “yes, I know it’s hard. We all want to be selfish and keep everything for ourselves.” It is a humbling place to be in, and I am finding that the very behaviors and attitudes I correct in my daughter, often show up in me at the same time. When I keep in mind my own process of being sanctified– that I have been there and in many ways am still dealing with the same flesh that my daughter does, I am able to sympathize with her weakness. It doesn’t mean that I excuse it, but in remembering that sanctification is not easy, my tone and prayers will change. I of all people ought to understand that it is hard to deny myself, to submit to doing what is right, and that obedience does not come naturally and easily.
2. Not discouragement, but joy
After a particularly hard day last week and much frustration (on my part) I started to feel really down. I was starting to see how dealing with sin in my own life and in my little girl’s heart is tiring and can be really discouraging. Then, it hit me: this is what parenting is about. I don’t have to be discouraged that discipline is involved and needed in our lives because parenting is all about being sanctified and bringing up my children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). If I see each revelation of sin as an opportunity to be brought up into maturity in the Lord, I can rejoice at the end of the day that I am doing what I am called to do as a mom and that God is continuing to do his work in me.
3. Not perfection but progress
Similarly, the fact that there are battles with sin does not have to lead me to anger or despair when I think about the fact that as Christians, we understand that sanctification will occur throughout our lifetimes until we see Jesus face to face. Though we are declared righteous before God and he no longer holds our guilt against us when we are in Christ, in this life, we will fall and sin and struggle with our flesh. Or as Luther said, we are simul justus et peccator— at the same time righteous and sinners. If I expect there to come a time when my children and I no longer need correction or discipline in this life, then at best I’ll be constantly discouraged when I see our sin and at worst, I’ll be constantly angry or given over to despair.
Instead of looking at whether or not we are still sinning, understanding that we are in the “school of sanctification” means that we can look together for signs of progress, not perfection. I can rejoice that my daughter isn’t struggling with the same things that she did a few weeks ago and thank God for his grace in her sanctification. Rachel Jankovic writes about this in Loving the Little Years,
“If you have been faithfully disciplining your children, I guarantee you that there are many, many problems that they no longer struggle with…Oftentimes we don’t even notice that they aren’t doing it, because something else has replaced it. Try to notice these little mile markers on the path of sanctification. If the sins have changed, it can be a sign of growth. It is not as though our children are going to emerge from heir current problems into perfect holiness only if we give them enough swats. They are going to emerge from one set of problems into the next, and that is good. that is the way of the Christian walk. (21-22)
In my own life, I can thank God that he has freed me from the hold of certain sins that I never thought I could be free of years ago. And in our family, we can rejoice together that although we continue to wrestle with sin in our lives, they are not the same ones that we did in the past. God has brought us this far along and we can be encouraged to see evidences of his grace. I love how Paul says to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:15 that he is to immerse himself in obedience to the things commanded so that all can see his progress. We can look for the same.
4. Not mommy, but Jesus
It hit me sometime during my first year or so of parenting that the hardest fact for me to accept is that my sin most deeply affects those I love and want least to hurt. It scared and deeply saddened me to think about and see the way that my sin could do damage to my family. But in that moment, I was reminded that the most important thing that my daughter (now daughters) could learn from me is the gospel. They need to see and know the gospel through my life. They need to see it when we correct them and teach them, as Jeff says, the “language of repentance” by helping them say sorry to us and turn to Jesus in prayer after we discipline them for disobedience. They need to see it in my admission of sin to them when I lose my patience. (This is so hard for me!) And they need to see that where there is sin, grace abounds so much more in Christ.
This is the lifeline that I am clinging onto and trust that I will be coming back to again and again in the next 20+ years: As much as I love them and by God’s grace will give my life to serving and loving my children, I am not the hero, Jesus is. Jesus died for their sins and mine. Jesus rose again and broke the power of sin over their lives and mine. And in faith, we trust we will one day stand before him, washed clean by his blood, presented blameless before him with great joy. (Jude 1:24)
Pray for us
I struggled in thinking about whether or not to write this post because the lessons are so fresh and I am so new at the whole parenting thing. In the end, I decided to share it because it is wisdom that I didn’t come up with but learned from others and am being blessed by. I am still working all this out in real life and it is hard. With the arrival of our second daughter has come more diapers, tiredness, joy, laughs, and repentance (on my part) as I see more and more of my sin and need for grace. God is gracious and I am thankful to be reminded through my children that he is still working on me. Prayers would be much appreciated (and needed) for our family as we go through school together!
-
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with one of my close friends as our daughters played together. As she talked about how her daughter will grow up knowing the gospel in a way that she herself didn’t, and how her daughter will never have the memory of hearing it for the first time, she asked me about my experience of growing up in church. It got me thinking as I reflected on God’s work in my own life and later came across two blog posts, one about not having a dramatic testimony, and one sharing a testimony of a fifth generation Christian.
Here are some thoughts regarding salvation and growing up churched that I’ve had in light of considering myself and now our girls as they grow up in church:
1. Churched-background or not, salvation is about being brought back from the dead.
Being delivered from Satan, sin, and death is anything but average or boring. Having your sins forgiven and being redeemed and made alive is mind-boggling. The idea that anyone’s testimony of blood-bought salvation could be uninteresting or unspectacular is a defamation of the work of Christ…No testimony that involves the Son of God bearing your sins on the cross in order to bring you to God could ever be mundane or boring. (65)
Gloria Furman, Glimpses of Grace
I had the gospel explained to me for the first time I remember when I was around 7 or 8. And though I do have experiences in my life that marked drastic growth in my desire for God and understanding of his gospel, I don’t remember ever not believing in God. When I was younger, I used to wonder if that would mean I wouldn’t ever be passionate about his salvation or as grateful as other people who were more of the “younger son” in the prodigal story. But as I have come to know and continue to grow in knowing God more through the ordinary means of studying and hearing the Scriptures, my sense of awe and gratitude at his saving grace has grown too.
Because I know that I, by nature am a rebel against God, sometimes when I come to understand more deeply how great God is, how sweet his promises are, or how true his word is, I remember that without his intervention in my life to open my eyes, I wouldn’t be able to see any of it– and I am absolutely floored. The outward changes in my life may not seem so dramatic to others, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that without his saving work, I would be blind to his worth and reject his word, and I thank God that by his grace alone I am not and do not.
2. My salvation is much grander in scope than a story about me and my conversion experience.
Michael Horton writes in an article challenging the emphasis on individualistic, one-time, “radical” decisions in thinking about salvation:
So then, to queries concerning our salvation, we ought to reply:
1. When? Before creation, at the cross, in my lifetime, and in the future. Let this replace, “On July 10, 1965, during the eighth verse of ‘Just As I Am,’ when Brother Fred held a revival at our church.”
2. How? By God’s electing grace, redeeming grace, calling, justifying, and sanctifying grace, and by his glorifying grace (Rom.8:29-39). This can take the place of, “By raising my hand, going forward during the altar call, and praying the prayer after Brother Fred.” As John Murray writes, “It is necessary to guard against a wrong use of introspection. It is not by looking within, in the attempt to discover the movements of God’s regenerative grace, that faith is evoked. It is preoccupation with the glories of the Saviour that constrains faith. We do not rest upon that which is done in us, far less upon that which is done by us. Faith does not feed upon the saving experiences that it evokes” (Col.Writ.,vol.2, p.259).
3. Where? In the church, where the proclamation of the Word and the administration of the sacraments (baptism and the Lord’s Supper) unite me to Christ and to his people. This is a more biblical response than, “In the privacy of my own heart.”
4. From What? From the guilt and control of our sins in this life, and from the presence of sin in the next. This stands in the place of, “Lack of self-esteem, unhappiness, sickness, etc.”…
5. Why? In the words of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, “to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” Let this replace, “So I could enjoy the happiness of the victorious Christian life,” or other explanations which have oneself at the center.
My testimony isn’t about a day “I decided to accept Christ.” And it isn’t even about my parents “raising me right” or my church doing a good job. It about the God who is able to bring dead people to life for his glory– of which I am an example. He chose me before I knew him, he worked in me before I could believe, he is continually saving and changing me, and I will be saved on that day when I see him face to face.
3. God is faithful not just to individuals, but to his people.
Michael Horton writes in the same article:
As the apostle Peter assured his audience that the gospel promise was still “for you and for your children,” so too we must challenge any conversionistic evangelism which ignores the covenantal context of conversion.In this way, the anxiety of Christian children about being converted or born again is removed. They are called to deepen their understanding and experience of God and their inheritance with the saints, but they are not to turn inward, searching for that one radical change in their behavior which they brought about one day when they decided to follow Jesus.
And Rachel Jankovic in the blogpost I mentioned at the beginning:
All of us who have faith have it as a gift – and how humbling it is to know that the very fact of your faith, as well as your life, is part of God’s faithfulness to others…My Grandpa Jim gave us all Valentines roses this year, my girls too, and in his very formal but increasingly shaky hand, right before he signed off, he wrote, “You are part of Exodus 20:6, ‘But showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.’”
My faith is a story of faithfulness – the faithfulness of our God. It is a story of God doing what He promised He would do. My life and my faith and my prayers for my children are all part of a beautiful and intricate story of God’s faithfulness to His people.
Today, Jeff asked me what I thought were the 10 most pivotal events of my life. I asked him if I had to answer limited to events that happened within my lifetime. He didn’t let me answer things like God’s choosing us before the foundations of the earth, creation, Christ’s life, death and resurrection, etc. etc., (can you tell I was giving him a hard time?) but allowed for out of those ten events to have happened before my birth. Both his and my first answers went back to when either our parents or great-great- great(?) grandparents first came to know Jesus. God has been faithful to them and we are a testimony of his faithfulness.
4. Boring testimonies are testimonies of his grace in forgiveness of sins as well as in his grace in being kept from sins. God’s grace in keeping us from sin hit me when I first read Augustine’s Confessions. In it, he writes:
Thou hast forgiven me these great and heinous deeds of mine, and hast melted away my sins as they were ice. To Thy grace I ascribe also whatsoever sins I have not committed ; for what might I not have done, who even loved a sin for its own sake? Yea, I confess all to have been forgiven me ; both what evils I committed by my own wilfulness, and what by Thy help I committed not.
The sins I have committed are pardoned because of his mercy and grace. And the sins I have not committed, I was restrained from by his mercy and grace.
How We’re Praying
Jeff and I are praying that even now, God would grant new life to our girls and that it would show in their lives as the fruit of faith in the coming years. We are praying that their testimonies would be a wonderful demonstration of God’s faithfulness to keep his promises to believers in generation past, and of his mercy to grant them new hearts to live in grace– grace to forgive them for and keep them from sin. We are praying that our girls would have a “boring” testimony that they would understand with all their hearts and minds is anything but boring.
-
What about global missions? This was the last bit missing for me in the few months I wrestled with issues dealing with my work as a new mother two years ago. So many times, I had heard of the decision to stay or go based on what you “have a heart for” (as in what God’s made your heart to be moved by). But what I found was that the more I understood the greatness of the gospel, the more my “heart” for local ministry AND foreign missions grew. The thing is, while I had a heart for missions overseas, my (and Jeff’s) desire was increasingly to stay in the US and based on our experiences, opportunities, and gifting, we believe that God has called us here, at least for now. To reconcile the seemingly conflicting passions, I tried to use reasoning that used overseas missions to justify local ministry (e.g. people we work with here may be called there), and that worked, until I had our first daughter.
Finding out the Biblical answer in terms of the relationship between secular work and foreign missions has helped me not only be freed from constant guilt, but to be fully here as a wife/mom/local church member and be passionate about and involved with what God is doing overseas at the same time. One resource that helped was listening to John Piper’s sermon “The Relationship Between Diversified Domestic Ministries and Frontier Missions“. Another was the reply that Matt Perman, blogger and writer, gave to a question I sent him through his site. I’ve been wanting to post it for a while (this was over a year ago), but since his book just came out, I decided to finally do it!
Below is the question I sent and his answer that really clarified things for me (slightly edited for posting):
•••
Hi Matt,
I’ve been subscribed to your blog for some time now and although I am not currently in the workplace outside the home (I’m a fairly new stay-at-home mom), have been tremendously helped by your writing about the doctrine of vocation and its application in life. It has been freeing and challenging. I have one question though that I have been wrestling through that I believe has to do with the doctrine of vocation and the Christian life…
I don’t think I ever really learned much about the doctrine of vocation growing up in the church and much of what I learned plus my Christian experience pushed the sacred/secular divide pretty wide in my mind… From those experiences, this is the view that I have been struggling to dissect and examine in the Biblical light: “We only have a short period of time on earth. We should look into investing into what is eternal. Only God, his word and souls are eternal. Therefore, we should spend as much time as possible evangelizing” and, this is unsaid, but “everything else is ancillary.” I have heard it through multiple venues (e.g. at a missions conference: “if you turn the page in the end of your life, the only thing that will be on the next page that you can bring is the name of the people you bring to Christ!”)
These ministries and people would, I believe, say that worship is ultimate and that yes, work is good and from God (we can love people through our jobs, etc.) but I think the implicit logic is that while we know that worship of God, not missions, is ultimate, our time on earth is limited. There is only a small window of time that we can spend evangelizing and bringing people to Christ…Therefore, that task and the task of ministerial vocations (emphasis on evangelism) take priority over all things and everything else either supports it (i.e. it’s okay to do a secular job if it means more people will be saved in the end) or is allowed as necessary. It leads and has led to so much guilt, confusion, and a de facto sacred-secular divide even while in word it is denied. I find many people struggling with this both in ministries I was a part of and outside of them as well. I know that it isn’t the full picture of the Christian life in Scripture, but the logic of the urgency of “soul-saving” is what I feel like gets people (including me) and I don’t know how to address it. Do you have any insights or resources you could point me and the people I know to?
Here was his reply:
Faith,
Thank you so much for your question.
It is an excellent question. The logic of what is being said and implied sounds compelling (“we only have a limited time on earth…” etc.). And, it is a tough issue. I don’t think I have the complete answer. I continue to think hard about it. But here are a few thoughts. God requires of us most of all is not evangelism, but love.
- Evangelism and work are to both come from this motive. This makes our work eternal and enduring, as well as (successful, so to speak) evangelism.
- It is God’s regard of something that makes it valuable. That needs to be our criteria. Since he ordained secular work, those who who are engaged primarily in secular work are doing the right thing, even if the result is that less people (directly) come to Christ.
- Work itself is a form of gospel witness. I hope to flesh this out in a future book; it is clear in the Scriptures.
- A close reading of Ephesians 5 shows that as we love people (not just evangelize them!), some will come to faith. The vision Paul seems to have of evangelism in the Christian life is that as we are good workers in all our secular vocations, instances will come up when we can winsomely and rightly share the gospel, and even apart from that people will tend to know we are Christians and our good behavior in our jobs shines the light of the gospel (when in conjunction with the fact that they know we are Christians). The result is that some people will come to faith. I wish I had time to show this to you from the text in Ephesians 5; if you are interested, Peter O’Brien’s commentary goes in to detail. So, with that said, here’s the point: secular work is part of God’s strategy for how the church reaches the world. Meaning: there doesn’t have to be an ultimate choice.
- What I think God requires of us is that all of us as Christians share our faith and seek to lead many to righteousness, as we have opportunity. As with a war, some will be more on the front lines and some doing other things, but everyone is essential. And the task is not only to share our faith, but to testify truthfully to what God is like, through our words and actions.
- I think Paul’s analogy of the body in 1 Cor 12 is key here; some do have the gift of evangelism, but those who are primarily gifted in other areas are no less necessary and no less significant.
Thanks so much for your question. I don’t think I’ve given a perfect answer here, but I hope it helps.
•••
Here are some quotes from What’s Best Next regarding the topic that I just read this week:
Since Gospel-Driven Productivity is about putting our productivity practices — and all that we have — in the service of God’s purposes, that means we will put our productivity practices in the service of fighting large global problems and bringing the gospel to all nations. This is at the heart of Gospel-Driven Productivity, whose essence is the recognition that we glorify God by loving others as Christ loved us, and that we are to go to extremes to do this because Jesus went to extremes to help us. (314)
The gospel spreads through our vocations…But if we don’t know how to serve others by doing our work well and getting things done, we will undermine our testimony to the gospel (Titus 2:7–10; 1 Tim. 6:1). Hence, we must have a robust doctrine of work if we are going to reach the nations with the gospel. (320)
And here is where you can get the book: On Amazon or at WTSbooks
-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Keeping Heart 