She sings as she suckles. The notes rise and fall and I feel her song on my chest. This moment is a gift, a divine yes.
The last month hasn’t been the easiest. We are walking on while waiting on many fronts. Some are shorter-term needs, others are distant hopes. We are praying for prodigals and struggling saints, for suffering friends and hurting ministries, for the faith of our children and our own sanctification. In my grief and anxiety, I have wondered if he truly sees, if he will really answer. God, help me believe that you answer prayers, I weakly offered just last week.
Now, listening to my baby breathe, I think about how each exhale is a resounding testimony that he indeed hears.
During pregnancy, I prayed almost daily— God, please let this baby live.
After miscarriage, after Jeff dreamt we had another little boy and girl— God, please let this be prophetic.
As newly married— God, would you grow our family?
When we dated— God, please confirm our steps.
As a single woman— God, you know my desires.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes, he said. And this is just one trail of petitions.
If I reach for a different thread, I find countless others wrapped up in this very moment. There’s confirmation about where to serve, the home I am sitting in, the faith to follow. There’s the silence right now—the gift of rest as Jeff takes out the big kids, and the notable absence of the voices of shame and condemnation, once constant companions. I have a steady sense of purpose, a will to live, an assurance that I belong to God. This hasn’t always been the case.
There have been plenty of no’s and the answers have not always come as quickly as I hoped. But I pleaded in years past— God, make yourself real to me. Steadily and surely, he has. The gift of our fourth child and the faith I have as I hold her now is but a small sampling of how.
Do you really answer prayer?
From the lips of my baby he has ordained praise, the gift of unveiling and an invitation to remembrance. Her song the gentlest rebuke for my forgetfulness, a soft yet strong word: See here my yeses.
#Godhears #Godanswers #inthewaiting #holymoments
The longer we follow Jesus, the more we will find that grief and hope intimately dwell together in the depths.
The more we taste of his goodness, the more we mourn for prodigals missing from the feast.
The more we believe his promises, the more we long for him to fulfill them.
The more we love, the more we lament.
So I need this reminder today, because sometimes the reach of grief seems to outpace the growth of hope. And the wrong does often seem so strong. And because in my sadness, I do forget.
Also, his hand on her back. ❤️
This is my Father's world
He shines in all that's fair.
In the rustling grass I hear him pass
He speaks to me everywhere.
This is my Father’s world
Oh let me ne’er forget
That though the wrong
Seems oft so strong
God is the ruler yet.
The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord sits enthroned as king forever.
#preachingtomyownheart #theLordisking #lettheheavensring #godreigns #lettheearthbeglad #jesuswins
My parents gave me this Bible as I started ministry after college. It travelled all over the world with me, sitting open during meet-ups and quiet times. It is highlighted and underlined with remembrances of living words shedding light on my heart. And while it’s been shelved for some years (I switched translations), I pulled it out recently for Bible reading with the kids.
There’s nothing magical about an old Bible, but it is sweet to think that God knew as I read, prayed, fretted over my future with it, I’d one day be using it to speak his words to my own children.
I wrote on the blog today about starting the discipline of Bible reading as a family. It’s been good for us. Maybe it could be for you too?
Though it’s not impossible, consistent Bible reading does take effort. But it takes more than just determination and grit. When I get to the heart of it, the biggest reason I often choose not to spend time in God’s word is not busyness or lack of discipline, but unbelief. I push it aside because I’m not sure he’ll speak to me. I’m not convinced that he’ll speak what I need to hear or meet me in my need.
So I need faith.
Faith that God has something to say to my family, that he holds the words of life.
Faith that as pressing as everything else seems, we won’t regret stopping to hear from him.
Faith that above all else, we need him, his grace, and his truth.
And faith that if his Word falls on good soil today, it will bear a harvest, 30, 60, 100-fold in due time. //Link in bio
#familybiblereading #yourwordistruth #sherreadstruth #kidsreadtruth #faith #jesusisworthit #keepingheartblog